he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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