my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize