Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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