Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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