we have officially lost it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
