So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
