Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize