you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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