I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
