I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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