so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
