my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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