I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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