I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
