Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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