need another drink. this is the easiest way
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
