And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
