Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
