i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
false alarm. still invincible.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
