I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
