How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
