singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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