You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize