Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
