It's Friday. Sex?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
