Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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