Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My sheets look like a crime scene.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
