i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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