He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize