before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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