Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize