I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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