I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
