hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
