What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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