i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
