She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
