Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize