i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
