the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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