You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize