I love black thongs
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
