She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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