He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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