come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize