he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
