apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
