Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
