I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Blood and glitter go together right?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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