I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
