Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
