is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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