i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
