Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
