why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
