i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
