if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
