Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
