I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
