this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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