Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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