we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
