I forgot how hot balto sounded
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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