i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
